The 4 Simple Steps To A Happier Life that I’m about to share with you are designed for long lasting happiness, if you practice them daily.
Through practicing them daily, they will quickly become habit.
And once they become habit, you wont even realise you’re practicing them!
They really are life changing. (I especially LOVE #3)
Before I share with you the 4 steps to a happier life, I want to let you know that I cover all of these steps and waaaay more in my FREE 4 Day Personal Development Course. Check it out….
1 – Take Responsibilty
YOU are solely responsible for you thoughts, words, emotions and actions, and no-one else should have control of these.
This isn’t an easy one to sink your teeth into.
Taking responsibility is often mistaken for taking the blame.
Oh, no, no… Theres a big difference!
To blame is to find fault with yourself or someone else. Blame is reserved for people with a victim mentality who believe that their happiness is beyond their own control.
“She/he made me feel bad because ____”
“I had a messed up childhood, so I can’t live a happy fulfilled life.”
“I would be way more successful but _____”
When you stop blaming others for your unhappiness and accept full responsibility, you can then move from a victim mentality to victor mentality.
If you had a messed up childhood, for example. That is not your fault! Of course its not!
However it is your responsibility to take control of your adult life and to make sure that your messed up childhood doesn’t create limitations on how you live.
Once you accept responsibility for attaching your own thoughts and emotions to certain events, you are then able to accept that the control is in your hands to remedy your unhappiness.
This means that nobody can make you think, feel, say or do anything. Nobody can push your buttons, because you make the f**king buttons.
This is an extremely powerful practice, and the sooner you accept responsibility for everything in your life, the sooner you’ll become more positive about yourself and happy with where life can take you.
2 – Master Saying NO!
Saying yes is more positive than saying no, right??
Well, not always!
We often find it difficult to say NO to people for fear that we are letting them down or missing an opportunity.
If your boss asks you to work an extra day on Saturday to catch up with a heavy work load, you might feel obliged to say YES even if you dont want to. And often we find ourselves saying YES to our boss even if we have to cancel prior and more important arrangements, like spending quality time outdoors.
When you say YES to something, you are inevitably saying NO to something else.
The way to use this to your advantage and create much more positivity in your daily life, is to think about the long term implications of your choice between YES and NO, and always chose the option that will make you happier.
Saying NO to your boss, or anyone else requires strength and bravery. But once you start to respect your own time and decisions more, you’ll be amazed at how much respect other people will have for them too.
3 – Choosing Your Words And Perspective
This one blew my mind!
I learnt this little hack at the beginning of last year, where if I changed my wording ever-so slightly, it would have a MASSIVE impact upon my perspective.
I would change words that were restrictive or negative, into positive variations.
Here’s an example:
Sometimes, when I used to get home from a long day at work, and when it was my turn to cook for my partner and our two children, it used to really piss me off. (I’m a terrible human, I know!)
I was tired from working hard and I didn’t want to HAVE TO cook dinner. I saw the whole thing as a massive chore and a pain in the ass.
This is obviously a negative way to approach the situation, and it created unhappiness within me, and ultimately the rest of my family.
The way I managed to turn situations like this around, was to take a more positive approach and change the words ‘HAVE TO’ into the words ‘GET TO’.
Changing my perspective of cooking dinner for myself and my family from an inconvenience into a privilege, very quickly made me realise that having the opportunity to cook for my family, really was a huge privilege.
I suddenly started to feel grateful that I was home in time to do this. And that we had enough money to pay for nice food. And that I’d GET TO sit around the table with my family every evening and hear about their day.
Once my perspective shifted, so did the negativity.
I know parents who think doing the school run is something they HAVE to do, and that it sucks!
I also know parents who GET to do the school run, and they love it!
Small tweaks to your words and thoughts have a huge impact.
4 – Provide A Service – Help Others
Nothing brings more fulfilment and happiness than helping others.
“The secret to living is giving.” – Tony Robbins
“It is not what we get. But who we become, what we contribute… that gives meaning to our lives.” – Tony Robbins
There is something to be said for having a purpose. And when your purpose is to help others,, you’ll find a great deal of happiness through doing so.
Studies have shown that helping others, donating to charity, and performing other random acts of kindness trigger the mesolimbic system, which is that part of your brain responsible for feelings of reward.
Helping others also releases endorphins which mimic a small morphine high, along with activating a release of dopamine. Dopamine is the ‘feel good’ neurotransmitter in your brain.
Helping others doesn’t have to be a huge act of kindness in order to make yourself feel good. Try practicing regular acts of kindness, such as holding the door for someone, providing directions or just providing a smile.
I get a great deal of happiness from this blog. Not just because I like blogging and writing posts like this, but because I love the positive feedback that I get from my readers, especially when I provided a service or have helped them in some way..